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101 Funny Random Things To Say

If you lot are looking for random funny things to say to confuse people or to be funny, you have come to the correct place.  Below is Bergeron's growing list of funny and random things to say to merely nearly anyone anywhere in the entire universe.

If you lot relish having fun then this list is for you lot.  Life is as well short to not do silly and funny stuff every now and once more.

So sit back, read the funny weird things to say below and then employ them on your friends, family and co-workers and watch them laugh their heads off.

About Funny Random Things To Say

1. My teeth crawling.
2. My hair hurts.
3. I'm going to get my toe smash pierced this weekend.
4. When in a grocery store inquire the clerk "do you take Prince Albert in a tin can?", if they say yes, tell them to permit him become.
5. Chocolate milk comes from brown cows you know.
6. Never play golf with a doctor who wears light-green socks.
7. My nipple is broken.
8. My eye socket is warm.
9. Do you eat other peoples finger nails?
10. Have you ever tried sleeping in water?
11. Why aren't shorts half the price of pants?

Funny Things To Say In A Conversation Or Text

Need some funny random things to say to crack up your friends? Or possibly you want to break the ice with an online dating friction match. Here are some unique and funny random things to say in a text or conversation.

Our growing list of funny things to say:

1. When asked a question where you know the answer is yes, instead of proverb yep, say "Does the Pope wear a tall hat?"
2. If yous are driving down the road and laissez passer a field with hay bales laying in it, bespeak at the field and yell "Hey".
3. Get into a pet store and enquire them if they have sloths for auction.
4. While ordering food at a eating house, talk about not eating meat ever and so order a steak.
5. While ordering food at a restaurant, ask the server for their acme two dishes they like (or that people or), then choose something completely different.
6. Why are apartments called apartments when they are all stuck together?
7. Why are colossal shrimp and then minor?
8. What's your favorite my little pony?
9. Tin vegetarians still eat creature crackers?
10. Just text someone a random give-and-take and run into what happens.
11. Send a text bulletin to your phone number simply increase the last digit past ane (your text friend.)
12. Start a grouping text with random phone numbers and start talking almost a serious trouble you accept.
13. Ship someone a text of a lottery ticket and tell them you but won $1,000,000.
14. When a friend suggests going for java, say "Don't you lot know there's a state of war on?"
15. When someone randomly changes the field of study, shout, "He'due south at it again!"
16. In the middle of a positive conversation, interject, "Now let'due south talk almost why I'm bitter."
17. At the dinner table, when someone picks upwards a condiment, point at them and declare, "That is for members but."
18. When someone asks y'all a serious question, ponder for a moment, then reply, "Cats don't roller skate."
19. The next fourth dimension someone thanks y'all for something, say, "I'thousand going to hell so yous don't have to."
20. If you barrel dial a friend, ship them a text that says, "That was your final warning."
21. When someone says something negative about another person, nod thoughtfully and say, "He buttered his shoelaces upside down."
22. In a grocery store, enquire a stranger, "Practice you know where I might find pickled pollywogs?"
23. When someone bumps into y'all or steps on your human foot, mutter, "You wouldn't exercise that if yous knew who I was."
24. If you bump into someone or stride on their foot, say, "I'chiliad lamentable. If I'd meant to do it, you lot'd know."
25. Enter a room full of people and say sullenly, "Well. The warthogs have outdone u.s.a. all."
26. When asked how you lot are, say, "Upwards an anthill with a butter knife and a bowl of soup."
27. Send a work colleague an email that only says, "I regret to inform you that you are no longer welcome at The Knights Of The Twisted Knee."
28. Ask your dominate for time off for "cake bereavement."
29. When you run beyond someone you know at random, tell them, "Hey, y'all. I want my wheelbarrow back!"
30. When someone asks how you know a mutual friend, say, "Protrude fighting."
31. When someone asks where you're from, stare at them blankly for an uncomfortable amount of fourth dimension, so whisper, "They told me, Wisconsin."
32. Send a text that says, "I told you it would come to this. I told you seventeen times."
33. On an elevator, ask someone, "Are you hither for the dog food tasting?"
34. Offer someone a slice of gum and say, "Information technology's not what y'all think."
35. When someone asks a favor, say, "Later all these years, am I still beholden to you lot?"
36. When someone asks the fourth dimension, say, "Time for a piece of porcupine piñata."
37. How many people put a conform in a suitcase?
38. If someone gets plastered just where do you lot observe the plaster?
39. Why don't nosotros telephone call a jumping jack a jumping jump?
40. Is there such a matter as a honey moon?
41. Is Hong Kong related to King Kong or Donkey Kong?
42. Is a shot of tequila related to a shot of penicillin?
43. Why is a roller-coaster chosen such when it doesn't whorl and it doesn't coast?
44. Does a reality bear witness really bear witness reality?
45. If corn can exist corny tin a tin can be canny?
46. Can yous ever find a whale in a well?
47. If hamburger makes a meatloaf does laziness brand me-a-loaf?
48. Is Friday the end of the week, or is Saturday, or is Sunday, or is Sunday the first day of the week?
49. If yous say a prayer in church what practise you say in the bathroom?
50. If you relieve yourself in the bath tin can you also relieve yourself by eating?
51. Does an aeroplane have brakes?
52. What does the 19 mean in Covid? Will the next virus be Covid 20?
53. If P.East. stands for Physical Didactics why does PPE stand up for Personal Protective Equipment?
54. If the waitress wants a tip why doesn't she just ask what she needs to do in order to go ane?
55. If a baseball player hits a homerun why tin't he stay on third base if he's too tired to run home?
56. Why is a necklace chosen such, it doesn't have any lace attached.
57. Why don't we phone call a chocolate scrap cookie a CCC?
58. Why is hopscotch named as such? Information technology doesn't have whatever hops and it doesn't take any scotch.
59. Is a bracelet considered to be a brace?
60. Why is chocolate water ice cream chosen chocolate when vanilla ice cream is not chosen yellow?
61. Why is a pancake fried while a chocolate cake is baked?
62. Why do we have royalty in a deck of cards such as the male monarch and queen and and then along comes the joker?
63. Does everyone who says the Pledge of Allegiance really brand a pledge?
64. Why do we say a person is fired when there is no fire?
65. What happens when you tell someone to accept a hike and you're on an airplane?
66. Is tin foil made from tin?
67. When will nosotros modify "give you a penny for your thoughts" to "requite yous a dollar for your thoughts?"
68. Can y'all find a card within of cardboard or will you notice a lath?
69. What happens to the plastic when you have plastic surgery?
70. What practise yous do when you lot find the needle in the haystack?
71. Can you use your putter to putter around the golf grade?
72. Is a motor habitation really a home with a motor on it?
73. If you are in jail can you always collect a leave of jail card for complimentary?
74. Would a crocodile snap at a snapping turtle?
75. Are you supposed to serve coffee on a coffee table?
76. Since basketball is named such why isn't golf named golfball?
77. If a condominium is called a condo why isn't an apartment called an aparto?
78. Is a middle assail the aforementioned equally an assault of the middle?
79. Why don't we put "the commencement" like we put "the end?"
80. If laughter is adept for the soul what is the soul good for?
81. If our economy is broken, how do nosotros fix it?
82. If you name your daughter Angel, aren't you lot afraid she will fly away?
83. Is corn candy related to corn nuts?
84. If you shop inside the stock market place is information technology stocked with fruits and vegetables?
85. Can a car end at a charabanc cease?
86. How can you lot scoot along if you don't have a scooter?
87. If a picture is worth a grand words, what would a mural be worth?
88. If you lot are on a diet how exercise yous feel almost the starting time 3 messages in the give-and-take?
89. Why do they sing, "California hither I come," when you're already in California?
90. Give thanks heavens for brown cows otherwise there wouldn't exist any chocolate milk.

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Also, if y'all have some weird things to say and would similar to share them with us please do.  We are e'er looking for new and weird things to add together to our listing!

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Source: https://www.bergeronknows.com/lists/20-funny-random-things-to-say/

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